i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
