My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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