He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
