I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
