you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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