She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
