would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
