Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
