Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My balls are so social today.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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