My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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