u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw a hot homeless man
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
