Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
