So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
