I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
