it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
