If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
