she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
