so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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