What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
