Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
