kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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