she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
