Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
