We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
