that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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