I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
