i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
