everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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