I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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