How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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