R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
