your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
