Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
