How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
