Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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