Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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