toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
