.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nobody cheats on THIS.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
