Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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