That's when you crack a 10am beer
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
