Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
