dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
