it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
