her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
