I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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