I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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