so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i out mim tonsoeep
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
