South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
