I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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