Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
