3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
